The Moderator
Bard College's student-run sexuality and body politics magazine
FALKLAND ROAD: PROSTITUTES OF BOMBAY
Falkland Road, Bombay, India. 1978
(via sexisnottheenemy)
This is the part of her hidden behind reflections. Bright lights. Locked in and hungry. Writhing in a prison created for her. Often by her. The car is a good metaphor. Most don’t bother to look inside. They walk past wrapped in their own thoughts. If they do see a flash of it, they ask themselves why she doesn’t just come out. They don’t realize she doesn’t have the keys. She can’t open it from the inside. Not enough air and too much heat and she’s suffocating.
If you smash the glass she will bolt.
You must pick the lock.
Carefully.
If you have the patience for that, you’ll know when to open the door.
(Source: bijou1986, via genderconfusion)
Abstinence-Only Sex Ed Teaches Teens that Sluts Are Like Dirty Glasses Full of Chewed Up Food
What goes on in abstinence-only sex ed classes besides a whole lot of not talking about contraception? Slut shaming! At least, that’s what’s happening in one Boulder, Colorado middle school, where parents are questioning the merits of a demonstration where students were asked to spit food in glasses of water and then told that drinking the dirty water was sort of like sleeping with a slutty person. A slutty person who somehow has genitals made of chewed up food.
According to the Boulder Daily Camera, the presentation occurred at Southern Hills Middle School. Students in a health class were given a snack and asked to mix some of the snack in with their water, and then exchange glasses. Then, they were asked if they’d like to drink the dirty water. The idea here is that if you put stuff in your vagina, no one will like you because your vagina is dirty and gross and maybe even smelly.
Unsurprisingly some parents are upset, saying that the presentation is a kind of shitty way to present sex as something unclean. And also unsurprisingly, Brad Seng, the guy behind the mastication demonstration, has no idea how it could be in any way construed as offensive. He says, “One of the first things I say is that it’s not that sex is bad or is a dirty activity to be engaging in. That’s not it at all. It’s about encouraging young people to make healthy lifestyle decisions. Our method is grounded in truth and non-judgmental.”
I bet he thought The Scarlet Letter was a fun book about life in a small town and a woman who learned a gentle, fair lesson about keeping her pantaloons on.
But it gets better! The group that employs Seng when he’s not in schools teaching girls that sex will ruin them forever is a crisis pregnancy center, one of those fun places that tells women that they’re going to die of Jesus-induced punishment breast cancer if they have an abortion. They’re a Christian group. Which has led some parents to wonder if the school’s violating the establishment clause by failing to keep churchy stuff out of schools.
If Seng’s group is actually slut shaming and pushing a religious agenda, let’s hope school officials do the right thing and appeal to a science rather than feelings-based health class, because if you let a church group into a sex ed class, even once, it’s sort of like your sex ed class is full of chewed up food.
(via genderconfusion)
(via genderconfusion)
I wanted to put a reference to masturbation in one of the scripts for the Sandman. It was immediately cut by the editor. She told me, “There’s no masturbation in the DC Universe.” To which my reaction was, “Well that explains a lot about the DC Universe.
Neil Gaiman, flawless human being (via stuff-and-shenanigans)
This pretty much single-handedly explains Batman.
(via randomcowboy)
(via stimberlake)
So How Do We Talk About This?: When Children See Internet Pornography
They may wonder what is wrong with their child or if what the child has seen will forever traumatize him or her. Neither assumption is correct, she said. The greater potential harm — and shame — can come from a parent’s reaction.
“If we flip out, freak out or go crazy about it, we’re giving a very set message,” she said, one that may prevent children from feeling they can ask their parents questions without being judged or punished.
click the title for the full story!
a really great piece from the nytimes
(via diamondshine)
“i’m not gay myself, but i do whatever i can to support the gay community. however, i feel very narrow minded and closed off. sometimes i have trouble understanding certain things like, if a woman is a virgin and she’s a lesbian, is the first time she has sex with a woman considered losing her virginity? and how, if there’s no penetration? i would really appreciate any tips on how to become more open & accepting.”
-Question submitted by Anonymous
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Dannielle Says:
Virginity is so weird bc like… it’s mostly a religious thing and I think in a lot of cases it just means an unmarried girl… which is weird bc like boys can be virgins and also what about girls who do it and are unmarried? like… what’s that about? Also, the word in general has changed over time bc basically if you have sexi you’re not a virg, regarless of what kind of sexi you have…. but then what about mouth sexi and hand sexi, does that count? YOU GUYS WHO KNOWS.
I think that knowing what it means and how it pertains to other people is not as important as having respect for the people with differing beliefs. Like, if you have a friend who’s a complete gaywad and is like ‘oh yea, i’m totally not a virgin i’m a gay girl who puts her body parts on other gay girls classifying me as a not virgin’ (i realize this is an awkward sentence and like WHO WOULD SAY THAT) … REGARDLESS, what they say is what they believe and what they believe is not wrong because it is their belief and it is specific to them… ya know?
Society is weird and it tells us that there are certain ways to do and say things and we just sit back and let it happen. I think that’s fine, it’s totally fine for all of us to want to be on the same page about what stuff means, but it’s also awesome if you can step back and say ‘ya know what, this is what it means to most people in society but to my friend it means something different and i respect the shit outta that’ right?
Kristin Says:
Amen to the above words by Senorita Owens-Reid. I used to be of the opinion that you lost your virginity when you felt like you lost your virginity… because I can tell you that I did a bunch of things with ladies but there was a SPECIFIC TIME when I was like, well, that was that and I am no longer a virgin… However, now I just think it’s silly that we all use that word as though it really holds any meaning whatsoever. WHY DO WE HAVE A WORD TO DESCRIBE WHEN A PEOPLE’S BODY PARTS ARE MUSHED TOGETHER?!
It’s like, if you were to ask me the color of my shirt, I could tell you it’s grey. No hesitation. If you ask me what the meaning of the word virgin is… it would take me a thesis paper to unpack all the history, confusion and mixed messages. So. First step is, let’s just quit it with that silly word and do our sexi times with our sexi partners and have fun and be done with it all.
Second part. You having questions like the above does not make you close-minded. Asking questions, and saying, “Hey, I have this belief and it conflicts with your belief, so can you explain to me more about your belief so I can work this all out?” is a fucking INCREDIBLE thing, so you just need to keep on doin’ what your doin’. If anyone gives you flack for asking questions, that is their issue. I promise you that if you were to ask me questions I would answer them and thank you for asking them in the first place. Now… if after I gave you my answer you looked at me like this:
I would be pissed.
So. Keep asking questions, and allow others their space to exist without telling them their beliefs are wrong. You’re doing great.
